Children’s Bill of Rights
We’ve done a lot of consults and represented a lot of clients over the years. And I can’t think of a single parent navigating the unknown waters of separation who has not expressed their worry and concern about a divorce’s impact on their children. More than money. More than the house. More than retirement. More than self.
Their specific concerns for their children are broad:
Will the separation and divorce cause the kids short and/or long term trauma?
How do I care for the kids financially; will they have everything they need? (A common concern for the parent who has the smaller or no income).
How will the kids handle moving from one house to the other?
Will the children blame themselves for the divorce?
How will our children cope with less time with one or both of their parents?
Will schoolwork and/or extracurricular activities be negatively impacted by the separation?
How will the children make new friends if a move is necessary?
How do I support my kids through this transition?
How do I answer their questions truthfully but also appropriately?
These understandable worries often keep couples in untenable relationships far longer than they would otherwise have remained married/coupled.
Parents seeking legal advice want to know what their rights are according to North Carolina law. As they navigate their own emotional currents, having legal datapoints and logistics laid out for them can feel reassuring.
North Carolina law says that a court must consider the best interests of the children. But it is completely silent as to what a child’s rights are as they, too, experience the difficult process of adjusting to a completely different life than the one they knew.
Dr. Robert E. Emery provides a “Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce” (see above) that makes sense. We thought would be helpful to share it with parents who are contemplating or have already transitioned from romantic partners to co-parents.
This concise list allows co-parents to determine if they are, in fact, keeping the children at the heart of everything they’re doing. After all, prioritizing your children’s experience helps prevent future resentment, limits unnecessary struggles, and builds resilient little humans.
