Navigating Property Division in Long-Term Relationships Without Marriage

In today's world, the traditional path of marriage is no longer the only option for couples who want to share their lives together. Cohabitation and long-term dating relationships are increasingly common, and many people choose to live together, share finances, and build a life without ever walking down the aisle. However, if those relationships end, things can get complicated—especially when it comes to dividing property.

In North Carolina, the law treats marriage differently than cohabitation. Our equitable distribution courts are equipped to equitably divide property for married couples, but there’s no similar process in place for unmarried individuals. This means that, while married partners have legal avenues to divide assets and property during a breakup, unmarried couples don’t have the same legal protections or guarantees.

Even if you’ve never been married, splitting a shared home or dividing significant property can be a daunting task. The emotional and financial stakes are just as high, and often, the practical considerations (who gets the house, who moves out, how to divide shared assets) are just as complicated as those faced by divorcing couples. While it may feel like your back is against the wall, the good news is that you do have options.

That’s where collaborative law comes in.

What is Collaborative Law?

Collaborative law is an alternative to traditional litigation, offering a more flexible and constructive approach to resolving disputes. Rather than leaving decisions in the hands of a judge, collaborative law encourages the parties involved to work together with their respective attorneys to reach a fair, mutually agreed-upon resolution. In the context of property division for unmarried couples, it provides a unique opportunity to discuss solutions outside of the courtroom. This can involve discussions about dividing property, financial responsibilities, and even future living arrangements.

The collaborative process is designed to reduce conflict, preserve relationships, and allow for more creative solutions than what might be available in a courtroom. It’s also generally less hostile and more cost-effective, as it keeps the focus on collaboration and communication, rather than adversarial litigation.

How Can Collaborative Law Help Unmarried Couples?

While North Carolina law does not provide a clear framework for dividing property for unmarried couples, there are still ways to work through these issues, especially in cases where you and your partner have shared assets or a home together. Collaborative law allows you to:

1. Have Control Over the Outcome
   When you go to court, a judge will make the final decision about how your property is divided, and it may not be the solution you envisioned. Collaborative law gives you the power to actively shape the outcome by negotiating directly with your partner, with the help of your attorneys. This allows both parties to discuss their needs and priorities openly and find a solution that works for everyone involved.

2. A Confidential Process
   The collaborative process promotes confidentiality and privacy. Whereas lawsuits put personal matters in the public spotlight, a collaborative process is a series of private meetings between the separating partners. Meetings are scheduled at times that work for both individuals, and only the separating partners, their collaborative counsel, and neutrals attend.

3. Create Creative Solutions
   Traditional court decisions are often rigid, but collaborative law provides a chance to explore creative solutions that can better meet the unique needs of both parties. For example, if you and your partner are co-owners of a house, but neither of you wants to move out, the collaborative process could help you find a solution that works for both—whether that’s negotiating who stays, selling the property, or even finding an arrangement that allows both of you to continue living in the space for a time.

4. Avoid the Cost and Time of Litigation
   Litigation can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. Since collaborative law is outside of the court and does not rely on the court’s schedule, it generally offers a more efficient and affordable way to resolve issues. The collaborative process is also confidential, which can be a relief for those who don’t want their personal lives aired in public court.

5. Preserve Relationships and Co-Parenting Dynamics
   If you and your partner share children or have a long-standing bond, maintaining a positive relationship is important. Collaborative law provides a framework for resolving disputes with mutual respect, which is vital for co-parenting and preserving a civil relationship after the breakup.

You Don’t Have to Be Married to Get Help

While North Carolina law does not provide a clear framework for dividing property for unmarried couples, collaborative law can be an excellent tool to resolve property division and other legal matters. If you’ve shared a home, finances, or assets with a long-term partner, it’s essential to know that you still have options, even if you never married.

Collaborative law offers a creative, flexible, and more harmonious approach to dividing property and assets in a way that works for both parties. So, while the process may seem daunting at first, remember that there are ways to move forward without the expense and uncertainty of going to court.

If you’re facing the end of a long-term relationship without marriage and need help navigating the division of property or other issues, our team is here to support you. Reach out today to learn more about how we can help you work through these issues with care, respect, and creativity.