Dating During Separation
Whether deciding to separate has made you swear off relationships for good (or at least for the foreseeable future), or opened up a whole new world of romantic possibilities, you’re not alone. Whether and when to date after legal separation has occurred is a question many clients ask us and a question many well-intentioned friends and family members ask our clients. While you ponder what works best for you, we’ll give you some answers from a legal perspective. Here goes…
In North Carolina, before you can file for divorce, you must be legally separated for at least one year and one day. After the filing is completed and the paperwork is formally provided to your spouse, it generally takes 6-8 weeks to complete the legal process and have a signed Judgment of Absolute Divorce.
So does that mean that for roughly 14 months post date of separation that you’re stuck in limbo, unable to move on and date others?
Fortunately, the answer is no.
During your period of legal separation, you are still, well, also legally married. However, the term “legal separation” doesn’t mean you are locked into a life of solitude for a whole year--you are free to live your life, including dating if you so choose. Once you have legally separated, both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are allowed to move forward, date, and form new relationships. Legal separation in North Carolina does not prohibit either spouse from dating or otherwise acting as a single person.
While it is legally permissible to date during your separation, it can still be an incredibly challenging transition to navigate with your practically-ex-spouse but not yet legally-ex-spouse. Having open communication and setting clear boundaries with your ex can reduce potential conflicts and make this change smoother for both of you, as well as any children you may be co-parenting.
Before entering into a new relationship, it is important to make sure you and your ex are on the same page about being legally separated. If there’s any ambiguity regarding your status, it’s always best to have an open conversation to avoid misunderstandings and the creation of [further] distrust. Sometimes this is a conversation two separating spouses can have on their own while other times folks find safety in navigating these tough conversations during a collaborative conference.
The bottom line is that legal separation in North Carolina does not mean you’re stuck in a year plus long waiting period where you can’t date or move forward with your life. If you are considering separating or have questions about separation, our office is here to support you.
